Sunday, February 02, 2014

State of the Self - February 2, 2014

Presidents give state of the Union messages, governors do state of the state.  It's only logical that I come out with a state of the self message.  Here goes:

As of January 26, 2014 and for a man in my condition I'm in great shape.  My weight is almost exactly where it should be although it’s not distributed quite the way I'd like.  My blood pressure, pulse, and most other measurements are with normal limits of normal standards.  I do have sporadic sleep apnea, edema of my left leg, bursitis in my left shoulder, peripheral neuropathy in my feet, receding gums, cluttered vision, stiffness in my fingers, GERD, 20% hearing loss.  Oh, and did I mention I have Parkinsons Disease?  That supposedly explains why I can't walk or stand without assistance, freeze while walking or moving my arms, garble my words or speak so softly that you can't hear me anyway, am impotent and slightly incontinent, and have spells when I fall asleep uncontrollably. 

On the other hand I can still safely drive a car under good weather and traffic conditions,
play the piano for congregational singing, cook a simple meal or bake a batch of cookies, can ride a recumbent tricycle 25 to 30 miles at an average speed of 10 mph, chair a patient support group meeting, maintain a small web site, keep the books for a branch of the Friends of the Sacramento Library, and publish a monthly church newsletter.

My chances of dying are only slightly elevated from an average man my age, the elevation coming from swallowing difficulties associated with Parkinsons. With my poor swallowing ability I could easily aspirate food or water into my lungs and drown within minutes.  They tell me that like most people my age I will live for several more years becoming less and less capable and more and more dependent, that my mental functioning will increasingly limit my ability to interact with and enjoy friends and family.  After I am finally, thoroughly, and obnoxiously dependent I will die, probably timing my death for maximum inconvenience for the family.


I had appointments with my GP and with my throat surgeon last Wednesday so this is about as up to date as it gets.

Let's all have a happy year, okay?

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