While some of our group attended the beginning meeting of the local Mormon congregation, the rest of us were finishing up breakfast and collectively planning what activities we would like to take advantage of. Some of us are already beginning to wonder if the seven days may end up a bit much.
Whiner alert: The following paragraph is pure self-pity. It does not add to the narrative. I'm also finding that a 3 story home without any special arrangements is about the worst possible environment for my disability. I can't use my power chair at all and my walker is really only useful on one floor. Moving it between floors is more work than it's worth. I've also noticed that virtually all my family members ignore any extra service I need such as helping me through a buffet line or trying to carry out a package. Makes me wonder how observant and helpful I've been prior to my disability.
One of the concrete plans for the day was for some of the group to visit the Donner Pass State Park. It was also decided that Ed's family would take two vehicles so that Tiffany, who needed to attend a work-related function, could just go home from there as it cuts down the time going that way. Unfortunately, their van broke down just out of South Lake Tahoe. While Steve and Lisa continued on their way Ed and Tiff returned to SLT in the cab of a tow truck with Carolyn following with the boys. Talk about throwing a monkey wrench into the plans. It was only the first of many to plague Ed's family.
In the meantime, the Brimleys tried out the gondolas which climb from SLT to Heavenly ski run offering a gorgeous view of the lake and the valley.
I think you've touched on it before, but it's difficult to know how much/little to do for a person with impaired mobility. It's a constant worry... do they really need my help? Is it offensive or hurtful to their pride if I offer to do x, y or z for them? I've found that what has allowed Steve and I to communicate effectively in our marriage is that I don't assume he can read my mind. I ask for what I want/need. I can't comment on my own sensitivity since I'm obviously biased in that assessment, but your family is full of wonderful and caring people. And while we could all do with being more observant at times, nobody knows your needs like you, and perhaps expressing those needs when you're faced with a difficult situation would result in a more satisfactory outcome for you.
ReplyDeleteYou're certainly correct and the only thing I can say in my defense is that I often couldn't raise my voice over the general din even to speak to the person next to me who was most often a child and would look at me with a puzzled look. Having been so fiercely independent up until now, I find it difficult and humbling to have to be waited on and to have to request it so vocally.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand I have reached the point where an offer to assist me does not hurt my pride in any way and I try to be gracious in thankfully declining the help.
Thanks for your comment.