Shhhhh Hospital Zone

A relic of bygone days, the sign "Quiet Hospital Zone" would have been ignored or laughed at in my recent hospital environment.  Not only are noise regulations apparently something to be ignored, noise may be something that is used for "therapy".  How else do you explain the pervasive use of noise and noisy instruments in one of the most sophisticated work areas designed by man.

As you might expect, the equipment which has been around the longest such as the heart rate meter hias become so stereotypical that a boop-ping can't really be used for any other equipment.  Likewise a nurse's call button is modest and non-offensive.  (I was happy to find that call buttons were, in general, answered promptly by nurses who really took responsibility for satisfied customers.)

There were others, though.  One sounded like a WWII klaxon calling for overall movement to the air raid shelters.  I never did discover what it's purpose was in the hospital.  Another was a well intentioned attempt at adopting some of the Japanese ideas in public announcement.  Instead of a single ding or beep, a short 5 to 8 note tune is played.  If played infrequently this idea is a pleasant change.  However, played as frequently as I heard in our hospital, I began thinking up ways to murder composers.

Another particularly bad practice is having an alarm ring outside the area of interest.  Such an alarm annoys far more people than it helps and it contributes to the overall "temper" of the neighborhood.

But for absolute hellishness, I nominate the alarm that appeared to have one purpose and one purpose only - on-site status verification.  Taped securely to one of my fingers, it was easy to ignore - until you attempted to leave the room or even the surface of your bed.  Then, a very load horn declared your intentions to the world. Knowing their jobs and possibly even their lives depend on knowing where each patient is and that each is under control, the staff quickly block any exit attempt by  a patient to "get away".  This alarm was the first one I was hooked into on the ICU, the last one removed, and played a significant part in many of my dreams.