(with thanks to Barbara by way of the Internet)
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
6. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
7. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
8. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
9. Think about this ... No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
10. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
11. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
12. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
13. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
14. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
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