Grave Matters - book review

"Grave Matters, a journey through the modern funeral industry to a natural way of burial" by Mark Harris almost tells the whole story in the title and subtitle. I have already decided that I want to be cremated and have my ashes buried in my garden. This book certainly did nothing to change my mind and, in fact, probably made my resolve even firmer.

Harris begins by detailing the "traditional American funeral" with the embalming, the viewing, and the fortress-like cement vault burial. Not only does he explain how completely unnatural and environmentally unfriendly this procedure is, he also explains how non-traditional it is and how it dates back barely to the Civil War era. Of course, 150 years can be sufficient time to create a tradition.

Harris describes how the body orifices are plugged, the body fluids drained, and the internal organs suctioned out to prepare for the infusion of embalming fluid and packing of inert material to give the body a "lifelike" quality. Probably the best quotation in this section of the book was the statement on page 29 that "Embalming restores a lifelike appearance to the deceased. Refrigeration does not, which may only matter if you expect the dead to resemble the living."

According to many funeral directors and associations, having a body to view, a body that appears to have just "gone to sleep" is one of the best ways for a grieving family to process the death of a loved one and that therefore becomes the goal of the funeral process. I along with Harris question both the need and the solution.

Cost is another consideration. A typical funeral can run $10,000 to $20,000 depending on viewing arrangements and how elaborate a coffin is chosen. Alternatives are more in the range of $500 to $2,000. What a difference to a family.

And there are alternatives. Cremation is rapidly becoming the most favored alternative and by 2030 will become the number 1 choice in the U.S. It is already the majority choice in Japan, India, Switzerland, and Great Britain. For people choosing cremation the alternatives for disposing of the ashes range from burying them in a family plot, storing them in a mausoleum, keeping them in an urn at home, disposing them at sea, firing them into the air with fireworks, burying them on private property, mixing them with concrete to make artificial reefs, or pressing them into artificial gemstones. There's almost no limit to the possibilities.

Even if a person doesn't choose cremation, the body can be buried at sea or in a natural cemetery without the environmentally unfriendly casket or embalming process. I appreciate Harris's book and heartily recommend it to anyone considering their final resting place or that of a loved one.