I thought I’d be much older

I thought I’d be much older when my friends began to die,
In my seventies and they would all be elderly,
Dying in their sleep and peaceful, having lived productive lives.
I thought I’d be much older when my friends began to die.
Australian songwriter/singer Judy Small from her album “Second Wind”

Just got word that a good friend Leighton Lee died recently. We've known each other for many years and have worked very closely together for some of that time. But we really haven't kept in contact since I moved to Sacramento. Leighton was a couple of years younger than me and I have no doubt that he led a very productive life. But I realize now that every day more and more of my friends are going to be dying and I begin to really feel my own mortality and ask myself whether my life has been “productive”.

I’m not ready to call it quits. But was Leighton? I think I’ve done some good things and certainly have a wonderful family and great memories to look back on. How do I keep living each day to the fullest knowing that my last one is getting closer? I thought I’d be much older when I had to start thinking seriously about that.