Wedding vows

A couple of weeks ago, four to be exact, Steven and Lisa were married in the Holliston Methodist Church in Pasadena. I remarked at the time that their vows were unique and really quite fun. There were several people who asked for a copy. I prevailed upon the newlyweds to provide me with the vows so I could post them here and let everyone enjoy them again.

The Bridesmaid Kristi gave the couple her advice in the words of Ogden Nash:

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup:
Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
Whenever you're right, shut up.


Steven recited the following original poem composed by Lisa:

I have to so much to offer you,
I can barely count.
I'm handsome, clever, and charming
And I have DVD's in absurd amount.

I offer the finest in home entertainment
A theater to rival Mann's Chinese,
One of each brand of video game system
And games in any topic you please.

I'm also an excellent listener
And will make for you breakfast in bed.
I'm quite skilled with eggs, bacon, and pancakes
And you're sure not to be underfed.

I'll be your loyal and faithful companion
Even when my eyes are on the TV.
No matter what awaits in our future
Your constant will always be me.


And Lisa presented the following adaptation of a poem by Pam Ayres:

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, and here’s reason why
So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry
And if we hear a knocking and it’s creepy and it’s late
I’ll hand to you the flashlight and you can investigate.

Yes, I’ll marry you my dear, you may not apprehend it
But when the tumble-drier goes it’s you that has to mend it
You have to face the neighbor, should our labrador attack him
And if a drunkard fondles me, it’s you that has to whack him.

Yes I’ll marry you my dear, you’re virile and you’re lean
My house is full of rabbits, you can help to keep it clean
You know that sexy dinner which you served by candlelight?
Since I just do mac and cheese, you can cook it every night!

It’s you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track
And when I’ve got the PMS it’s you who gets the flak
I do see great advantages, but none of them for you
And so before you see the light, I do, I do, I do.