I can't say that anymore!

The email was innocuous enough. It read as follows:

Auditions for Oliver!...September 17 & 18, 2006
Oliver!

Audition dates: Sunday, September 17 and Monday, September 18, 2006 at 7:30 p.m.
Callbacks: Tuesday, September 19, 2006 at 7:30 p.m.
Directed & Choreographed by Jan Isaacson At the Hoblit Performing Arts Center, 607 Pena Drive

Character Descriptions

• Oliver (9-13 years old) strong boy soprano, loving, sad, hopeful.
• Fagin-Character actor, must sing well, houses and trains pickpockets, miserly, welcoming
• Nancy-Strong belter, rough, kind, strong-will, sympathetic, Bill Sykes girlfriend
• Mr. Bumble-Legit Tenor, workhouse boss, mean, over bearing, pompous
• Widow Corney-Strong character actress, workhouse mistress, domineering, fussy, proud, sharp-tongued
• The Artful Dodger (12-25 years old) Fagin’s brightest pupil, friendly, optimistic
• Bill Sykes-Baritone-Bass, must sing, a villain who associated and does business with Fagin, rough, brutish, glowering, violent
• Bet-idolizes Nancy, pretty, sweet, strong-willed
• Mr. Sowerberry-Character role, funeral home owner, grim, formal, graceful
• Mrs. Sowerberry-Character actress, Funeral home owner’s wife, sour, middle-aged woman, mean
• Charlotte-Daughter of Funeral home owner, lazy, mean, sour-faced
• Noah Claypool-Lazy, shop keeping apprentice, mean, taunting, coward
• Mr. Brownlow-Wealthy gentleman, Oliver’s unknowing grandfather, kind, mannerly, sympathetic
• Mrs. Bedwin-Brownlow’s housekeeper, kind, motherly
• Dr. Grimwig-Aristocratic doctor for the wealthy, friendly
• Charlie Bates-2nd in command of Fagin’s boys
• Who Will Buy Sellers-Men and women legit singers.
• Fagin’s Boys-must sing and move well
• Workhouse Boys (girls and boys)
• Large Ensemble of singers and dancers (of all ages) who will fill in numerous roles

Performances November 10-Dec 3, 2006; Fridays and Saturdays at 8:15 p.m. and Sundays at 2:15 p.m.

You do not have to come both days. Please bring sheet music for a song that you already know and are comfortable singing. You do not have to sing the entire song, just enough to give the director and music director an idea of how well you can carry a tune and follow our piano player’s accompaniment (no pre-taped music or a cappella, please).
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Davis Musical Theatre Company
The Hoblit Performing Arts Center
607 Pena Drive
Davis, CA 95616

I don't consider myself a "legit tenor" or bass or baritone for that matter. If anything, I'm an "illegit baritone", my higher notes having suffered from age and unuse. But I somehow got it into my head that I should audition. They'd surely at least cast me in the ensemble as one of the "unwashed masses" in the back of the stage.

So with knees shaking and a voice in my head asking "what do you think you're doing?" I went to the Monday evening audition. When my turn came, I stood on stage, announced my name and musical number, and informed the audience (consisting of the director and all the other cast hopefuls) that I had never auditioned before in my life. When I was greeted with cheers instead of jeers, I cued the pianist and belted out what was hopefully recognized as a reasonable version of "We'll Sing in the Sunshine". And, just like in the movies, the director yelled "NEXT" just as I finished - to another polite round of applause. I can't ever say "I've never auditioned" again.

And at the end of an entertaining evening, I was asked to come back the next evening - whatever that might mean.