Men (at least this one) don't do subtle. Monday evening while I was sitting at our computer, my wife Carolyn was about 10 feet away looking at the family calendar on our refrigerator door. She said casually, "Cindy says she'll meet me at the Denny's between the two freeways at 8:30 Wednesday morning."
"Okay," I say knowing that Carolyn had planned to be out of town Wednesday through Friday on a work assignment. She goes to a lot of these. Sometimes she drives, sometimes she rides along with someone who drives, and sometimes she flies. But Carolyn's comment didn't say which of these modes of travel she was taking. It s imply said that she and Cindy were getting together early Wednesday morning.
It wasn't until the following day while I was putting out the garbage and green waste cans that I asked myself which of Carolyn's cars should I block with the cans? Then the thought came to me, "Was she trying to tell me more than she said about meeting Cindy?"
Sure enough, when asked Carolyn readily filled me in that her comment was meant to be a request for me to take her to the Denny's between the freeways at 8:30 Wednesday morning so she could jump in Cindy's rental car and ride with her to the Monterey area. It took me a full 24 hours to catch that subtle request. And I might not have caught it then if I hadn't been putting out the garbage. Am I the only man (or woman for that matter) who needs a more direct mode of conversation because subtle is not one of the languages I understand? Can you do subtle? Is it a good idea?
Well, that is high on the list of men's rules for women.
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Steve has a very good understanding of subtlety... he just chooses to ignore it. He's trained me very well not to do it because he will simply ignore subtle hints (even though he understands them) until I ask overtly for what I want. It has actually worked out pretty well for us, I think.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand subtlety either, so it's bilateral bluntness around here. Election years are brutal.
ReplyDeleteI can usually get the subtleties but I prefer to be direct. It seems to work better with Richard and me.
ReplyDeleteWhat is subtle? I'm confuseeeed, speak plainly!
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