Different societies have different standards, of course, and mostly people do not consider the standards to have the absoluteness of commandments such as DO NOT COMMIT MURDER. We might roll our eyes at what would be totally proper in Mexico but could get you jail time in the states. We think nothing of tipping wait staff 10 to 20% of the bill But try tipping a cop who has just stopped you for speeding. On the other hand, the Mexican Policeman may have to report his tipping earnings just like an American waiter.
Where the "tip" or compensation is an actual "quid pro quo" or "this for that" American's feel most comfortable when the practice is minimal and well established. We aren't comfortable with "new" practices, no matter how trivial. Tipping a waiter is considered good etiquette with the amount of the tip some indication of the service received. If no tip were given it is unlikely that the waiter would chasea customer down for the tip (except perhaps in New York). And it is unlikely that service would be refused the next time the customer comes into the restaurant.
So when a non-profit agency such as Meals on Wheels or the Alta California Regional Center receives a small gift, why do we go ballistic. A woman on my Meals on Wheels route gave me a card today with a nice thank you in it as well as $5. The card I have no trouble with although it represents a $3 donation (cost of the card). But do I also accept the $5 cash. She told me flat out that she would be insulted if I refused the money. Our agency policy is to refuse all gifts of any size.
Comments? Advice?
Try making up a story that you "would get in trouble" if you took the cash (not a lie if it is plausible), and take the card. MAybe offer to donate the cash? I try to turn down money when Ilene tries to pay me for helping her out, but if I manage to refuse, she just sends it home with the kids or Jenny nest time she sees them :) . Some folks are determined to show their gratitude.
ReplyDeleteOther than to refuse based on the grounds you'll get fired if you take it, you could either donate it back to meals on wheels on her behalf or buy her something with it (e.g. extra dessert) to show your gratitude for her being so kind - as opposed to all the demanding customers you have.
ReplyDeleteIt is the policy of the agency whether it makes sense or not. Because a person views it differently than the "policy makers" does not make it OK. I would hope all the hundreds of hours upon hours of creating policy at RC had a purpose. It really is not your position to pick and choose if you want to bring grandchildren with you to the meals on wheels route, accept financial rewards from individuals receiving services or take photos in federal buildings. There is a policy (e.g. the rules) for everything so if you don't want to comply, change the policy.
ReplyDeleteI was not implying that breaking a rule or policy makes it right. I was implying that the policies are by their nature arbitrary. Yes, in spite of hours and hours what is then pronounced policy in one agency can be wildly different than another agency or another time. And often major players in the game have little or no input into the policy.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of this as a matter of picking and choosing but maybe that is exactly what it is. Rules of etiquette are also "rule" that can be broken or followed.
It is easy to say "if you don't want to comply, change the policy" but much more difficult to do. Even if there are very good reasons, it is a rare organization that makes it easier to change a policy than to reaffirm it. Hence the common wisdom that "it is easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission".
I think anonymous commentators are amusing. If you are ashamed to be associated with your remarks, don't make them.
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed you have the guts to be so honest about such things on your blog. It could come back to bite you. (Then again, it's not like they can take a paycheck away from you.)
ReplyDeleteIf we lived in a repressive society I certainly wouldn't be keeping this blog, at least not in the format it presently is. Even as is, I do plenty of self-censoring and I wince a little each time I feel I can't be perfectly honest because Inspector Javert is counting my sins and infractions.
ReplyDelete