A Censor for our Times

One of our favorite TV shows recently is "Big Bang Theory".  I am constantly amazed at how humorous a couple of nerds can be, given the right lines.  And what would normally be obscure, inside joke references can often be made clearly funny with the addition of waitress Penny, an everybody's anybody if ever there was one.  But I've also become fascinated by Chuck Lorre, producer of “Big BangTheory” and his "vanity cards" one of which is shown at the end of every episode - for about half a second.  Unless you're an extremely fast reader you have to video record the sign then freeze frame it on playback.  Or you can find the whole list to date on Chuck's website at http://www.chucklorre.net/index.php .

I flipped through half a dozen cards and was mildly amused at some, dismayed at others, sometimes both.  For example #217 was amusing because it illustrates the intellectual level our TV shows have to be aimed at to be economically viable and it's dismaying because it illustrates the intellectual level our TV shows have to be aimed at to be economically viable.  (spoiler alert:  none of these words is a "dirty word" except perhaps CBS and censor)

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #217 (CENSORED)

words that confuse the CBS censor

fecund, penal, taint, titmouse, cockamamie, cockatoo, cocksure, coccyx, ballcock, cockeye, prick, prickly, kumquat, titter, cunning linguist, insertion, gobble, guzzle, swallow, manhole, rimshot, ramrod, come, fallacious, lugubrious, rectify, Uranus, angina, paradiddle, spotted dick, dictum, frock, cunctation, engorge, turgid, stiff, bush, uvula, crapulence, masticate, Dick Butkus, gherkin and, of course, the always bewildering lickety-split. 

No, I don’t think swimming is the next best thing to sex

In fact, it doesn't even come close.  I suppose I might feel a little differently if  there was some long lasting effect resulting from swimming such as feeling cool for the rest of the day.  And I do enjoy a dip in the pool every once in a while.  But, having maintained a pool for years, I know how many chemicals are necessary to keep a pool looking sparkling clean and I know how much “stuff” remains in a pool even when it looks sparkly clean.  I can do without swimming in someone else’s bathwater for the temporary relief from the heat.

To make it even worse most pools are either (1) in direct sunlight without shade or (2) inside in a poorly vented, non-air conditioned building that echoes and feels like  a giant sauna.  I wouldn't normally want to spend time in either environment and the benefits of swimming don't offset these environments.

I did enjoy swimming with the grandkids yesterday evening and especially that feeling of buoyancy which makes me feel 60 pounds lighter.  On the other hand, the 60 pounds felt like a ton of bricks when I started climbing  out of the pool.  Do I really need that sort of hassle?

What we have here ...

What we have here …… is a failure to communicate.

There’s still a few of us old timers who can remember when the power went out on a sort of random way.  We were grateful then that we had a telephone and that it failed much less frequently.  Most of us now have, in addition to the landline phone, a mobile phone or maybe two.   We also have additional one-way communication through the telephone.

So it’s particularly disconcerting when all three go out at the same time.  In order to take advantage of certain sales we signed up for phone service, Internet connection, and cable TV all one connection.  However, they’re still different services and up ‘til now we’ve never had two services go down at once.  So I couldn’t believe it this morning when I couldn’t get any email and picked up a home phone to report the problem.  No dial tone.  Just an obnoxious noise indicating phone off hook.  A quick check verified all the phones were indeed on the hook.  I checked the TV signal on a hunch or suspicion.  Also blank.

Surprisingly, SureWest answered my trouble call and we went through an initial exam. Years of accumulated cables and outlet boxes complicated the simple instruction to  unplug the backup battery.  Although we were able to turn a warning light off we couldn’t reset the system.  She’ll send out a trouble technician – tomorrow.  “I am reviewing….the situation…”

Not 10 minutes after I finished composing this blog entry did things really begin to break loose.  Half a dozen email messages dropped into my In box.  My dial tone reappeared and I could make phone calls. Apparently a technician didn't have to come to the house to fix the problem.  

Thank you, SureWest.  Do you think you could work on a system that would catch such an error as mine and fix it before I even knew it was broken?

Logical consequences and the state budget

For more than 21 years I worked for a California Regional Center, an entity which contracts with the state and is required to meet many of the same standards as the state.  It was always frustrating to me and my fellow regional center employees that we were expected to develop on time and live within our budget while "the state" went year after year without a timely budget and rarely, if ever, actually lived within their budget.  I remember being one of the more vocal proponents of some sort of sanction on state workers as a way of forcing lawmakers to pass a budget.  One suggestion which seemed logical at the time was a cut in pay for state employees l until a budget was passed.

Now we are once again without a state budget - in violation of state law.  But this year the only full time employee in our house works for the state.  Suddenly the shoe is on the other foot.  There is a move to withhold pay from the legislators and their staffs while paying all other state employees minimum wage until the budget is passed.  This consequence which seemed so appropriate10 yeas ago no longer seems logical.  Carolyn has no more influence on when or whether a budget gets  passed by the legislature and approved by the governor than an ant on our front lawn has over what I'm going to eat for breakfast tomorrow.  She doesn't even have secondary influence.

Sure get a different view on the other side of the fence.  How many other things would we see differently if we were required to walk a mile in our opponents shoes?

Dental crown

So which hurts worse - the pain in the mouth and jaw resulting from the surgery involved or a the pain of paying out $500?  I will have to say that the dental office we go to appears to be extremely efficient, technologically current, and most important patient friendly.

Thanks Arden Oaks Dental 

A bit warm for you, is it?

Well, we've finally got our summer weather.  As if to thumb his nose on us, old man weather on the first day of summer finally decided to give us temperatures like we expect to get in the summer - 90 plus.

So I guess it was appropriate that we agreed to have someone over to our house for an "energy audit."  As expected it was a sales call masked like an "audit" thus giving us the impression that we're going to learn a little about better ways to save energy.  Indeed, after introducing himself and his credentials, he began asking about light bulbs, insulation, and size of A/C ducts, compressor, and ceiling fans.  Another 10 minutes of questions followed by a 20 minute tour of the house, which did actually include a peek into the attic, and the audit was complete.  His only serious recommendation: replace the incandescent lights above the bathroom mirrors.  

We then got down to the serious business of discussing what he was selling.  It turned out to be a sort of thermal blanket, maybe as much as 0.5 inches thick consisting of foil on each side and a moisture barrier in the middle. They are proposing that we cover all the ceiling joists with this blanket with the promised effect of 6 to 8 degrees lower household temperature in the summer.  A second proposal is to install a solar panel powered attic fan to keep the attic from exceeding the heat of the outside world.  And finally, they are proposing that they install a second air return for our A/C because we're literally smothering our air conditioning unit.

Although there is a possibility of some payback, it would be mainly in the form of tax credits - $1,500 was a number mentioned.  And we'd only have to spend $6,900 to do all the things they recommended.

Comments, anyone?

Making progress

This is going to be a short entry as I'm entering it with my iPod Touch. The biggest problem up to now is having no instructions.  Next biggest is trying to use the world's tiniest keyboard with fat fingrs.

This much has taken 10 minutes to type in.

Father's Day 2010

After the Father's Day program in church this morning, the young women handed out chocolate chip cookies wrapped up so pretty as this picture shows.  Allthough I happily accepted the cookie and appreciate the thought, I appreciate Father's Day because of the chance, the reminder to think about all the wonderful blessings I have as a father.

This is a picture I took yesterday when Jake and Camdan were "helping Dad" mow grandpa's lawn.  I really appreciate Ed and the boys coming over to mow and edge our lawn and I'm sure Ed appreciates the boys "helping" by staying busy and out of the way.  Besides getting our lawn mowed, Carolyn and I get a good chance to see and be entertained by the boys.

I enjoy family who write or call me and those who send pictures or post blogs so I can see what is happening in their lives.  I am blessed with a ward choir that still lets me sing even if my voice does sometimes stop in the middle of a word in the middle or a sentence in the middle of a song.  I appreciate a wife who has enough confidence in my remaining computer skills that she gave me an iPod Touch for the day.  I'm hoping to use it to organize all our photos while also using it for the PDA applications that my phone just doesn't do.

I'm grateful for the fathers my sons have turned out to be and hope that they will feel they can still come to me for advice or just a listening ear as I always felt I could do with my father.  Thanks to all of you who made this a wonderful Father's Day for me!

The answer depends on the question

I don't know when I'm ever going to learn to ask the right question!

The Situation:
After working for the same agency for 3 years, Carolyn gets a greater selection of dental plans to select from.  Thinking our dental provider would know the most about plans offered, she asked them which plan was "best"  Carolyn submitted the work paper's.

The Problem:
Besides some initial problems for getting me signed up, everything went fine.  We did notice that our costs had not gone down and had maybe even increased.  The final blow was a $1,100 cavity and crown replacement I discovered I needed this week.  Our dental plan covers 50% of the costs leaving  us with an unexpected $550 dental bill.

The Explanation:
I could be mistaken about the increased costs but I don't think so.  The answer lies in the word "better" desribing the plan.  For many people a better plan gives them a broader choice of dentists to pick from including, with luck, their favorite dentist.  It is very likely that a plan, to appeal to more dentists, has to have higher payment rates to the dentists and consequently higher costs for the patients.  Since we already had the dentist of our choice, we should have asked which plan has the  lowest costs for  us rather than the best payments to the dentist.

Not only is the new plan more costly for us, it is riskier for our current dentist because we may decide now with greater choices to shop around.  It's probably in his best interests that we go back to the original plan.

An applause and an echo

The Carmichael Branch of the Sacramento Public Library held its annual Volunteer Appreciation Brunch today.  I've come to a new understanding about such events.  While I could easily skip it without worrying a bit about whether I'm appreciated or not, I'm not sure other volunteers feel the same way.  And I really feel strongly that some staff have no idea of the level of assistance provided by volunteers.  I've decided to try to attend the appreciation events if for no other reason than to encourage the powers that be that they should be continued.

Ironically, the theme for today's brunch was Hawaiian, loosely correlating to our recent vacation there.  The table decorations, leis, and other decor were cheap 99 cent versions of the real things that we have been experiencing the past two weeks.  The food had nothing to do with the theme.  It was staff  pot luck and wonderful.  The program was a short presentation of authentic Hawaiian chants and hulas presented by a local historical and cultural preservation organization.  Rather than grass skirts, the dancers (all women) wore mu'us like those in the recital program we saw our first weekend in Kauai.

Carmichael Branch Friends President Frank Quadros is enjoying the program and the festive decor.

Carmichael staffers Rhonda and Natalie enjoy the program while Rhonda's daughter accompanies the hula dancers' "Tiny Bubbles".

And here are the people who really wanted to hula but couldn't get the courage to walk up to the front of the room for real assistance.  They're all library staffers.

Thanks Carmichael Branch Library and Branch Friends for a fun party and good food.

Post vacation thoughts

Bringing or sending home souvenirs of a vacation or trip away from home seems to be a well ingrained custom in our society.  Whole stores were dedicated to the purpose of selling souvenirs to tourists like us who know that sooner or later we would be asked "what did you bring for me?  And that's just the adults.  And I'm sure we aren't the first or last tourist coming home with a brand new additional piece of luggage just to hold all the souvenirs.

It isn't enough to bring back and equal number of presents for each of the grandchildren, they have to be approximately the same value and social significance.

But this year we drew the line at coworkers and friends.  Even just a pound of macademia nut chocolates for each person we'd like to remember would add up to another suitcase.  So we bought some macadameia nut chocolates in a bulk package of single treat size and repackaged them in mall crystal clear bags with a few Hershey's coconut kisses  thrown  in.

 We would like each of you to know  - those who got something ad those who dn't that we did think of you while we were enjoy in Hawaii.  And we give you full permission to enjoy Hawaii the next time you go over without worrying what to bring back for us.

Excitement at Sam's Club

Carolyn and I both sort of took the day off to deal with jet lag and post-vacation let down.  So for lunch we were eating a couple of slices of famous Sam's Club pizza when this little boy not more than 20 feet from us started howling inconsolably.  Of course his mother was trying to do her best to console him.  Within seconds the two of them were surrounded by Sam's Club employees including employees from the food court where all the excitement was happening to security personnel to someone who appeared to be from the  pharmacy.  Mind you, we didn't edge closer to read people's name tags.  We thought it best to keep  our distance.

What we could see was that the boy (probably aged 2 or so) had a head wound that was bleeding significantly enough to get blood all over his mother and sister.  The food court staff had fashioned ice packs and were trying to place them on the boy's head long enough to do any good.  Of course a bare ice pack is a little shocking to the skin and wasn't calming the kid down at all.

In another 5 minutes the  paramedics arrived, 5 strong.  When it was obvious that the paramedics weren't going to do anything more exciting than their entrance accompanied by sirens, people started drifting away.  We were left with the impression that the  paramedics and Sam's Club had things well under control.  Thanks, Sam's employees for a job well done.

Vacationing with a disability - day 12. The end

It's over.  The vacation is at an end and, frankly, so is our energy and capacity to enjoy much more.  I think if we still had 2 more weeks to spend in Hawaii, we'd probably take a vacation from our vacation just to regain the energy and interest we'd need to go on.

The comment I'd like to make this time about vacationing with a disability is that after a while, you get to feeling that somehow your disability is related to the vacation and that when you return home your disability will be a past memory like your vacation.  I was surprised to find that I needed the same assistance walking to my car from the airport terminal as I had walking from the condo.

The same goes, of course, for all the other problems, assets, interests in life.  They were put on hold during the vacation or at least modified to accommodate being away from the office, the home, the club, etc.  But now that you're back, nothing has really significantly changed.  One or two minor problems may have gone away or been solved by someone else but the rest are still in your in box getting moldy.

On the other hand, there just may be one or two which look different now that you have seen them from 2,000 miles away.  The urgency is different.  My disability didn't stop the vacation, didn't even prevent me from doing most of the activities.  So it won't stop me from enjoying activities here in my home community.

Our plane left shortly after noon while Revabeth and Keith's was several hours later.  So we drove them to the car rental place at the airport and parted company.  We took care of some final business like turning in my electric scooter and filling our car with gas.  We stayed pretty close to the airport while doing some last minute shopping.

The flights (from Lihue to San Francisco and SF to Sacramento) went as expected or actually a little faster.  This time I walked through the metal detector which sped up the process.

On the first flight we had meal service if you consider a dry turkey sandwich or a chicken wrap for $8 each a meal "service".  Still, it was good that we did because we really didn't get a chance to eat again until we were driving home from the Sacramento airport and enjoying the peanut can in the car.

The final flight was in a small 30 passenger propeller plane which could have been miserable since we were assigned the last row in the plane.  We moved up to the aisle row just ahead of us and had all the legroom in the world.  /this was also the first plan during our trip that required me to board and disboard without a jetway.  Again,  the wheelchair pushers were friendly and helpful.  We ended up tipping each between $2 and $5 with one especially helpful porter getting $10.

Vacationing with a disability - day 11

The last full day of vacation.  Soon I'll be able to "enjoy" my disability on my home turf and in my old set ways.  But for the next 24 hours.  I'll still have to deal with things that aren't that familiar and easy to handle.  And that's my commentary subject today - the time, energy, and delay involved with having a disability along with the group.

Later, I will try to dsicribe the zipline tour that our group participated in this afternoon while I sat in our condominium catching up on blog entries and random emails.  I couldn't go becaus of the distance reuired to walk between ziplines.  It's just as well because that gives me half a day to work on my stuff and be sure everything is packed.

In addition, I used the time to check out Safeway and Longs Drugs just across the street.  That is one feature we did not really have at the Marriott facility - the ability to walk across the street for groceries and goodies.  On the other hand, had t  I not had this disability we all would have been shopping across the street more this morning.

Another building straight across from our condo has a huge mural of whales on it and I just about made fun of it looking like Jack Weyland is in town.  Turns out it wasn't a joke at all.  Weyland had painted this mural just like he did for Long Beach.

Had I been paying more attention, we would have had this huge chocolate cake mark the passage of time but we really didn't expect it to last until the final day of our vacation.

Zipline tour:

Everyone is in agreement that this was the highlight of our vacation but words fail to describe the fun and excitement.  Of course, they may be saying that for my sake so I don't feel any worse than I already do.  They do agree that it would have been very difficult for me to get from one zip line to the next.  I will include several pictures to at least give you an idea of what scenery was seen and what gear was used in the adventure.  

Vacationing with a disability - day 10

Technology has increased the chance that any one of us may be traveling with a disability – a self-made disability.  I’m talking about being connected.  Internet Access, at first with Ethernet connections and then with wireless routers (Wi-Fi) came upon us so quickly that at first we didn’t know what to do with it and then didn’t know how to set them  up, and then decided we couldn’t do without them. It was inexpensive for companies to add customer access to their Internet Access that many public service companies such as hotels, restaurants, libraries, etc.  offer it free.  And like free drink refills, suddenly we’ve become convinced that we are entitled to the free service. 

So it was a surprise to find that our condo did not have free Internet in the rooms.  For a minimal fee of $4.95 per day or $15.95 for 10 days we can get Internet access over Ethernet in our room or wireless in the pool area.  What a deal.

We decided that it was worth the $5 a day but our troubles still weren't over.  To get service in our room requires a router which can interpret the Internet signals which have been added to the room's electrical system.  We got the router  and plugged it correctly.  No signal.  We called technical support who tested the circuit  and determined our complex was getting no signal.  But of course it took an hour  or more to determine that.

Today’s adventures started with church.  After all with  a church building just a block or two north of the condo, it was easy enough to do. Keith and I were still in the middle of trying to get Internet access so we missed out but the women attended and reported back that they were glad they did.

The adventures continued with Hilo Hattie, perhaps the best known store in Hawaii.  And for good reason as they have treat the customer well.  As we entered the store we were welcomed with a smile, an "Aloha", and a shell lei.  We were offered a cup of coffee or juice and a sample of Hawaiian macadamia nut chocolates. Throughout our visit clerks were available and helpful if necessary but weren't intrusive.  When Carolyn took some dresses in to try on, a clerk brought her more dresses with similar style, sizes, and slightly higher prices to try to "upsell" her.   There was nothing second class about Hilo Hattie's.

Vacationing with a disability - day 9

My disability continues to make this vacation interesting but sometimes it is an ABILITY of someone in our party which makes for an interesting and challenging day. 

Today we signed up for and rode on one of Kauai’s oldest traditional activity – riding a large boat up the Wailua River to the Fern Grotto to the accompaniment of ukelele’s and oral traditions. At the Grotto itself, married couples and lovers hold hands through a verse of “The Hawaiian Wedding Song”.  At the end of the song, the couples romantically embrace and kiss.  At least that is the theory. 

But time and erosion has worn at the tradition.  Those manning the boats and performing the songs, hulas, and narration display all the enthusiasm of a 12 year old race horse.   They once had it, by golly, and they’d show you if they just weren’t so tired right now.  Even the Fern Grotto is no longer romantic, having been fenced off and replaced by a wooden stage some 500 feet away – nowhere close to the ferns or the misty water falling from the walls of the grotto.  “The Hawaiian Wedding Song” is now sung in Hawaiian with no translation making it less interesting to the couples who rarely understand the island language.

I will have to admit that the crew were very attentive to my needs and helped me in and out  of the boat as well as providing me extra time to board.

But our very different adventure began when my sister Revabeth  decided to taste the  local flora.  Revabeth is a science teacher, specifically a high school biology teacher.  As such she is always looking for new ways to add more interest and appeal to her classroom teaching.  Along the path to the Fern Grotto were various native plants which  our guide pointed out.  One is called taro.  It is a staple as its roots, cooked mashed, are used to make poi.  Seeing a broken taro root, Revabeth scraped off a minute sample of the moist inside meat and placed it on her tongue to taste it.  She reasoned that it couldn’t be harmful if it was food. 

Almost immediately her tongue then her lips and back of her mouth then her throat began to burn as if she had been trying to wash her mouth out with tiny, white hot knives.  She grabbed my bottle of Pepsi and tried to rinse out and spit out as much as she could but it was too late.  During the boat ride back to the dock, the pain intensified and her ability to talk or swallow decreased.  She asked one of the staff what to do about it and he simply shook his head and said she shouldn’t eat raw taro – it acts like poison.  Well, duh!

Back in our condo, Carolyn called Poison Control. Turns out that Revabeth had given herself a good dose of calcium  oxalate which was transforming into oxalic acid (or vice versa) and literally chewing up the soft tissue in her mouth.  They recommended cool liquids like water or milk and avoidance of acidic food and drink.  Revabeth had already figured that out.  They said they’d call back in an hour and that we should call 911 if the symptoms got any worse.  Fortunately, the symptoms did not get worse.  However, they only slowly decreased.  Cooking the taro root or soaking overnight in water are two methods of reducing or eliminating the poison and making the taro room edible.

What a day!!!!

Vacationing with a disability - day 8

Today I encountered something that a person with a disability should never encounter - outright violation of the ADA, Americans with Disabilities Act.  Today, we moved from our time share to Revabeth & Keith's timeshare and this is what I faced:

There are five steps from the handicap parking level to the front door and no ramp or accommodation to bridge the steps.  The handicap parking itself is several hundred feet from the front door which may be another violation.  Of course, I'm not going to be here long enough to follow up on any complaint nor do I wish to take precious vacation time to file a complaint.  I can make do.  And isn't that what every other person with a disability has done up until now!

Vacationing with a disability - day 7

I neglected to mention yesterday that in spite of the communication difficulties we have, everyone is going out of their way to  "over" communicate as much as possible and then to forgive and forget errors and omissions on the assumption that something got in the way of the transmission or reception of information.  That's just the way it has to work on vacation.

Today I encountered one of the heartbreaking realities of life with a disability when the group went to register for our activity next Monday afternoon - Zip Lines.  I had hoped to be a part of this activity because it appeared I would need upper body strength and coordination but as you're zipping through the air on a cable, there really isn't anything for you lower body to do.  I neglected to factor in the travel from the end of one zip line  to the beginning of the next.  The tour company euphemistically calls that "hiking" and touts it as a benefit of their package.  But for me it is a big fat obstacle.

When I asked if a non-walker could negotiate the tour, the tour  operator would look all apologetic and admit it just wouldn't work out.  Am I disappointed?  Yes.  Do I expect all activities and tours to be available to me?  No.  Reasonable accommodations should be made but there has to be a limit.  Actually, I don’t think the company is doing all they should in reasonable accommodations.  I think it should be  perfectly reasonable to design a tour where walking is minimal or where a walking aid such as a walker or wheelchair can be used.  Wouldn’t  you think that could be arranged?

Today my sister and brother-in-law tried snorkeling at the hotel beach where I had had so many problems.  They had a delightful time, especially by using the fish food we had purchased.  As they leaked a little of the food, they were swamped by swarms of fish.  So many fish arrived that they shared the fish food with other snorkeling swimmers around them.

We then visited the Spouting Horn , a small shopping strip, and the Official County Botanical Gardens.  It was plenty for the day.

Arnold & Carolyn in front of Spouting Horn

Revqbeth & Keith in front of Spouting Horn

Another View of Spouting Horn

County Botanical Gardens

Vacationing with a disability - day 6

Just so you don't get the impression that I'm so focused on my disability that I can't or won't consider others.  For example, of the four people in our party three have diagnosed hearing problems and have $2,000 per ear hearing aids.  The fourth person also has some self-diagnosed hearing loss.  In addition I am losing voice volume and quality as a result of my Parkinson's.  The net result is that when the four of us travel together in a noisy car or open-air tourist bus we end up sounding like that old joke:

First man:   Man, I nearly lost my hat today.  Windy, isn't it?

Second man:  No, I don't think it's Wednesday.  I think its Thursday.

Third man:  Now that you mention it, I'm thirsty, too.  Let's go have a drink.

First and second men:  Hear, hear!! (or here, here)

When we speak to each other, the first five seconds are complete lost so it is better to use those syllables as attention getters such as "Carolyn.  Carolyn!" or "Did you know?"  It's best to say no more because you'll just get frustrated - both of you.  Also make sure you're both looking at each other so that lip reading can also be helpful.

Today we practiced our hearing and speaking skills (such as they are) driving to and then experiencing the Gaylord plantation.

There is a train track winding in and around their many acres of fruit trees and other gardens.  

If you buy the upgraded tour, you can take a hike and see even more and even pick and take with you as much fruit as you can stuff in your  pockets.

Today, we say several of the ne-ne geese, the Hawaiian state bird and an endangered species.

We also enjoyed the chance to feed the pigs by throwing chunks of bread over the fence to the pigs.  From the looks of the pigs we didn't need to worry about any of them going to sleep hungry tonight.

We also enjoyed a very nice upscale luncheon thee before getting on our way.   Tonight was one of those "kick back, lazy pool evening.`

Vacationing with a disability - day 5

This was definitely a day of fun and excitement but it was also a day which reflected seriously upon the relationship of taking a vacation with a disability.  In my case, the disability is Parkinson’s Disease and the manifestation of this disability is difficulty in walking unassisted.

We had chosen to take a cruise today up along the Na Pali (the cliffs) shoreline and back again.   Along the way we were to have “breakfast, lunch, and a mid-morning snack, as well as having various historical and cultural highlights of the shore pointed out to us as we passed them.  The company failed miserably on these features although I don’t know how much blame would rest with the captain.  We were also to have a 20 to 30 minute time in the water for swimming and/or snorkeling.  The minimum qualifications were met on this score although the experience was so much less than we had in Maui with virtually the same tour description.  Finally, and I’m not enough of a boater to  know whether man or nature was responsible for this, but we had the fastest, roughest ride I’ve ever had on a catmarran.  Several people on board were sick including me and my sister who NEVER gets seasick. 

On the other hand, the crew did a MARVELOUS job taking care of the passengers.  I was asked several times how I was doing and every time I made a move to get up and move around the boat, one of the crew would be at my elbow offering assistance.  Sometimes I felt I was up against a zone defense trying to get a shot off.  They had received early warning that a “disabled person” would be on board and they were determined that I would have a positive experience and, above all, not get hurt or injured.  And although I definitely got special treatment, all passengers got above average attention.

When we arrived at the ticket counter, I was told to report dockside so that I could be "pre-boarded"

So Carolyn drove me over and turned me over to a crew member who promptly did ... nothing.   I finally took a walk around the dock portion of the ship while waiting for the rest of the passengers. 

When I did finally board it was at the same time as the others.  Fortunately it was easy enough to negotiate the ships passageways and ladders.  After I walked aboard with my walker, the crew stowed it away behind the mast where it stayed until the end of the cruise.  I realized I could get around a small boat like I do my bathroom because there were so many grab bars available. 

At one point I looked up to see that Carolyn had taken over the helm.  I thought the captain was aware of what she was doing but until he and a crew member  pulled this pose...

I wasn't sure.

Here's our little tour team Keith, Arnold, Revabeth, and Carolyn during a rare quiet moment aboard the ship.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

During another quiet moment on board we watched spinner dolphins play alongside the ship.  

And, of course, there was our snorkeling time.  I didn't do as well as expected but much better than a couple of days.

The rest of the day we spent driving up Waielua canyon to see the gorgeous vistas from the various sightseeing pullouts.  The day ended with dinner at Wong’s, a local café whose motto must be less is more.  The food was a limited table buffet table, not quite what we had been expecting.

Vacationing with a disability - day 4

Fprtunately, most of the time I have dealt with my by simply making do with the equipment at hand.  For me that equipment on this trip has been a mobility scooter

and a rollator

We got this particular scooter since it comes apart in 4 simple pieces which can be lifted separately into and out  of the car.  But we have found that it is more expeditious for Carolyn and I together to lift the whole machine at once.

The thing is, I need both pieces of equipment in the car so I can pick which one would be appropriate - the rollator for short walks and crowded shops, the scooter for long walks and more roomy shops and attractions.

Today we did some shopping, eating, and picking up roommates.

The concierge had told us of some shopping centers that had a good variety of souvenirs (although all the souvenirs here are made in the Phillipines).  Carolyn bought souvenirs for all the grandkids as well as postcards for all of them.  Me, I bought a new straw hat.

The concierge had also mentioned a couple of "hole in the wall" lunch counters that were worth visiting.

It was probably more luck than skill that we found this place.  Note the sign on the front of the building.

It clearly says "Duane's Ono Char Burgers", right.

And finally, we picked up my sister Revebeth and her husband Keith at the airport.  I called them roommates because they are sharing our time share this week and because Revabeth and Carolyn were roommates in college.  But that's another story.

Vacationing with a disability - day 3

Did you ever wonder why there are so few, if any, wheelchairs on the beach?  No, of course you haven't.  Unless you use one, you seldom think of wheelchairs at all, let alone at the beach.  Same goes for walkers or mobility scooters.  Well, today I discovered the answer and in the process had one of those life changing experiences you're not sure you want to write home about.

This morning after listening to the concierge talk about all the things to see and do around the time share complex and Kauai, Carolyn and I decided to sign up for a snorkeling cruise for Tuesday morning which would give us a chance to try out the snorkeling sets we bought at Sam's Club before coming here.  

First, we got on our swimming suits and went to one of the pools in the complex.  With mask, snorkel, and fins in place we swam randomly around the pool.  The last time we were in Hawaii we had some snorkels with defectively installed valves and I wanted to find out if that was the case this time.  Everything was in perfect working condition.  With the ocean just a couple hundred feet from the pool, we decided to try out the equipment there.

According to the concierge, one of the best places in Kauai to snorkel was a rocky sand bar just 300 feet east of the hotel beachfront.  We knew we couldn't get there with my scooter and walking unassisted was out of the question.  We tried my rolling walker but it too sank into the sand even when we tried the wet sand down by the water line.  Carolyn then suggested that we rent boogie boards and swim over to the bar.  I had done so well swimming in the pool that it made sense to swim over and the boards would let us rest a little if necessary.  I could also use the board as a cane or crutch walking over the sand and through the shallow water.

All was working well as we entered the water but when I tried to ride the board, it slipped out of my left hand, the hand affected by significant bursitis.  I tried again and again.  My mask, which I hadn't pulled down on my face slipped off and now I was fighting to put it back on while keeping the boogie board on a tether and treading water.  The ocean floor drops quickly from the beach.  Finally, I realized I was tiring and told Carolyn I wasn't having fun anymore.  About then, I lost hold of my mask and snorkel and stubbed my toe on a rock.  I was tired and frustrated.  Of course, as soon as I hit the sand I remembered that I can't walk unassisted.  The crashing surf twisted me around and rolled me over to remind me how much  less control one has sitting on the beach versus standing.  By the time Carolyn reached me I couldn't even stand with her help.  Fortunately, a young woman realized my plight and came over to help.  In other circumstances, I would have really enjoyed having a lovely woman on each arm but at this time I was just glad to be led off the beach.

Once assured I was okay, Carolyn thanked the young woman then headed back out to see if my mask and snorkel were anywhere in sight.  She tried for 15 or 20 minutes without success.  She had no problem with the equipment or the boogie board.  My sense of independence just continues to be eaten away and Carolyn has to be wondering if taking this vacation at this time was a smart idea.

By the time we had cleaned off all the sand and become presentable again, we were starving.  The  concierge had recommended Bubba's Burgers, only a short drive from the time-share.  In contrast to Burger King, Bubba's motto is "Have it our way, right away; your way, some delay."  "their way" is a plain patty in a sesame seed bun with mustard, relish, and diced onions.  It isn't bad but it could never compete with In and Out Burgers.

This evening we attended what we thought was going to be a professional hula performance but turned out to be a student recital for the largest hula dance school on the island.  Like other dance recitals we have attended, each class is given a chance to showcase their accomplishments so parents can ooh and aah appropriately.  They also had some of the moms strut their stuff.  

We were impressed that the costumes were all so modest.  

At least until they came to the Tahiti portion of the program, then the dresses got really skimpy.  But throughout the entire program the emphasis was on smooth, graceful movements.